Frequently Asked Questions


Q: Is this some kind of weird sex party?

A: No.


Q: How are you going to ensure that it won't be creepy?

A: We create an environment in which it would be so clearly inappropriate for anyone to do or say something smarmy that most likely, they just wouldn't do it. If they were to, it would be so thoroughly shut down by the group that that person would be stripped of any sort of threatening power they may have held. There are also volunteers on hand at every event to help out in any way that's needed.


Q: Have people fallen in love as a result of this event?

A: Yup.


Q: How many people usually come to these events?

A: Average is around 40 participants.


Q: What's the balance of men and women?

A: It's usually around 60% women, 40% men.


Q: What if I'm poly?

A: If you're single and polyamorous, then definitely, you should come. In the spirit of the event, I of course strongly encourage you to be open about what kind of relationship you want, but that shouldn't prevent you from showing up. If you're partnered and polyamorous, that gets a little trickier. While I won't tell you not to come – who am I to dictate the specifics of what you're looking for? – I will say that this event is really designed for people who are wanting connection and have had trouble finding it. If you're in a relationship, you've already found connection, so some of the things we do and talk about might feel somewhat less relevant for you.


Q: What's considered creepy?

A: Don't worry about being judged here. Unlike at other dating events, the point is not to judge or be judged. The point is to connect, and to open up to connection. The Not-Creepy Gathering actually allows us to expand our notion of what's acceptable. One of the really beautiful things about this event is that it provides an opportunity for people to state what they want, openly and honestly, without shame. “Not-creepy” does mean that things like consent are really important.


Q: What happens at the event?

A: It is very much a structured event, so be on time! I don't want to give away all the surprises... Just come. You'll see