On Why I'm Not a Dating Expert (and Don't Want to Be)
Let me be clear.
I am not a dating expert.
(Like, really not a dating expert.)
And I have no interest in being one.
I actually think that trying to learn something from a so-called “expert” can sometimes end up being a pretty isolating experience. It can sometimes just make people feel inadequate by comparison. It can sometimes turn into a boring lecture by someone pretending to have it all figured out.
Blech. No thanks.
No, I am way more interested in saying... You know what? I get it. Because I've been there. I know that place. I know what it's like to want connection and feel frustrated that I'm not finding it. I know what it's like to feel impossibly awkward. I know what it's like to be devastated over the loss of connection. (Believe me, do I know it.)
Because if I can say that, if I can get up onstage and operate from that place, then connection is made, right then and there. If I can be honest about my own struggles, then people know that they are not alone in theirs. This is how I see my work as an artist. Sharing our personal stories is an act of generosity, because it helps others to feel less alone in their stories, their experiences, their frustrations, their fears. Being honest, being vulnerable, is a gift we can give each other, and it opens us up for connection. Vulnerability is what makes way for connection. That's the best “dating” advice I can give.
And actually, I think it's pretty damn good advice.