On Making It Happen

On the surface, it could seem ironic, that I, the host of a successful “dating” event, am single and pregnant, having made the choice to have a baby on my own. (News flash! I'm prego! Thanks to a gay male friend, a turkey baster, and a dance party.) But I don't see it that way. At all


That perspective could only result from a fundamental misunderstanding of the true nature of The Not-Creepy Gathering. These events are about connection broadly speaking. If you've been to one, you know that I encourage participants to be open to connecting with anyone there, in any way – to be open enough to let themselves be surprised by what appears.

It's way more important to me that people leave my events feeling good about themselves than that they get a date out of the deal. This is not really about dating. That's not what I'm actually interested in. (Sorry. But not really.) I'm interested in human connection and vulnerability – which is required for genuine connection.

Through this lens, I actually think that my decision to become a queer, single-mama-by-choice is a pretty great reflection of the real work I'm doing. 

When I shared this with a friend, she it took it one step further, reminding me that she always leaves my events feeling clearer about what it is that she wants. The events enable her to get more in touch with her own desires.

The only thing I have ever known with 100% certainty that I want to do in my life is have a baby. And I realized that I don't need to wait around for someone else to come along and give me the thing I want. I know what I want, and I can make it happen for myself. I'm making it happen. Landing here has felt good. Like, really really good. 

In a few months, I will meet a person with whom I am pretty much guaranteed to fall crazy in love. And when else in our lives can we ever say that?